I need to put all the pieces back together. I'm wondering about emailing people out of the blue -- people who don't know my news, people it seems at this point it'd be easier to talk to without it looming so large. Then i could remember how to be friends. I wonder, is there anyone out there I've lost who would love to hear from me? That would feel nice.

In other news...why am I so stupid in love?

Had a show on the weekend, and did I ever cap it in pathetic fashion. Chris and I, now 2 years broken up haven't seen much of each other beyond band stuff. We've stayed friends though, rather well. But at the show he dropped the (anticipated, but still) bomb that he is dating someone, which I think is actually the first person he's dated since me. Slightly weird, it's a girl whose wedding we attended. As much as it is comforting to imagine him untouched and pining, I really don't resent him getting on with his life. Not that that is very apparent when I drunkenly scrawl "ALL THIS TIME YOU WERE PRETENDING" on the bathroom mirror at the hotel, in the middle of the night, as a really punk rock good morning message. Yes, I did it. IknowitisanAvrillyricforgivemejesus. That's a lot of apologizing to do in the morning, and presumably several years of roasting in bowels of hell.

In Oscar commentary, I hate awards shows. But, I was really sort of delighted to see 'Ryan' win the best animated short. Noone cares about that category, but I'd seen it and have seen it's subject at our fave watering hole many times, and bloody hell sometimes good things happen to people even when they seem like total fuckups.