I keep waiting for a scenario where I don't feel like I have to be the leader, with a girlfriend. I need wakeup calls and straight talk and not saccharine all the time. I think I have been such a scared control freak that I sought and attracted sidekicks, not asskickers. Paging asskickers.

In Major Potential, one of my more recent ladyfriends is moving here, into this wretched cultural adjustment. She was the meanest girl at my high school. We weren't friends, not in the same circle. We were neutral. Then we ran into each other and started hanging out. She'd done all this changing. She used the word "zen" like, more than once, it was a tad disappinting that the girl who ACTUALLY got fake ID by TAKING SOMEONE ELSE'S DRIVER'S TEST (respeeeect, yall!!) could get all in-bed-by-eleven.

She came to my housewarming party 2 months ago, so did my arty friends that she didn't know. And I saw her looking over at them with total signature disdain, and it gave me total hope that The Bitch Lurks.