It's hard. Everyone knows this. You lose the comfort, closeness, shorthand, ability to speak openly about constipation. And on top, I think that since my dad died, I haven't REALLY talked to anyone else.

I hope I'm not just being a commitment-phobe. I sort of am. But, I'm not in love. And if someone is going to quit their job and their city to come be with you, you should sort of tell them in advance if you're not sure about that, however scary the loss of security. Or at least that's my thinking.

Last week I went to an 'orientation' to the public service, despite holding my job for a year. I was a bit late, ha. But the thing is basically designed for hooking up. Tons of forced table-changes, "networking sessions"...it's just hook-up time. I got asked out to dinner, and I was so freshly broken up that it basically hit me in the face like an icey blast of wind. I said ok to a drink, despite knowing that...no. Then this week I realized that there was this guy sitting across from me at one point that I didnt talk to enough and I ACTUALLY emailed him and asked him out for a drink, and he actually wrote back and said yes, how about Thursday. :)

He's totally gonna turn out to be 25, and I'm going to intellectually pretend that doesn't matter, and then never talk to him again. Still. It'll be a good Thursday. A Thursday on which I turn 2 never-dones on their stupid heads: 1) asking a guy out, 2) asking a HOT guy out.

I hope I fit in my jeans again. Wish me luck, yo.

Old Maid